Sitting here and trying to figure out how to write this, it seems that my family and people close to me, have kept a secret for almost 70 years from me. Today on my Aunt Louise's birthday I got confirmation from the closest person through my life ,Dee, that I am in fact not a Rozelle . For many years I have always felt like something, some secret was being kept from me, certain things in my life ,just did not add up, the timing was all wrong. I grew up without a father, but at least I thought I did belong to this invisible man, that my heritage was rooted at least somewhere to someone. I think what hurts the most is knowing that my sisters Joyce and Fay, my Aunt Louise all knew the truth, and my sweet Dee, but she was sworn to secrecy. I asked through my life these people straight out about who my father was, and they lied to me, these people that I loved and trusted and thought they would never hurt me, have indeed hurt me. Please don't get me wrong, I know they thought they were protecting me after all it was the 50's and the shame that women were put through for the least little thing was terrible ,not to mention being pregnant out of wed lock, "OH MY GOD!" Maybe my mom thought later on that telling me could somehow ever make me think less of her,that would never have happened, but she didn't know that.
After a good talk with my sister Sandie( she has a great way of looking at things) made me feel better because she is right, this doesn't change who I am, I never had a father so its not like I am missing out on anything. The only change is I only know half my heritage do know that I'm Italian and not Canadian French, thanks Ancestery.com for that little piece of the puzzle. It has been a real eye-opening experience this month, with finding my niece Joy, or Mary (her daughter) finding me on Ancestry, and now confirmation that I indeed am not a Rozelle. So what do I do? Do I try and find who I am? Do as my sister put it " let sleeping dogs lie?" That my friends in itself is the question. I NEED AN ADVIL!
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