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Sunday, October 27, 2013

How I love October!

The colors of fall always make me take a step back and reflect on the year,it has not been an easy year for me.It is late October 2013 and I find myself once again,sick with ,must be this time a year or my age.A lot has happened since I last posted.My best friend Roxy died of cancer.I miss her everyday.Her courage and friendship meant so much to me over the past 25 years that I can not even begin to tell you about this awesome women.We were always together,always there for one another and I find myself,someday's reaching to call her to tell her how my day went or to ask her to lunch or as it had been the last few months checking on her and how she was feeling.They dedicated her into the Bulldog Hall of fame at South High where we worked and I and my siblings and children and grandchildren all went.It was the one thing she so didn't want to miss,but unfortunately she didn't  make it .I am still working at Ballard School even though it is not the same old place it use to be,rack it up to people watching out for themselves and pretty much not caring about each other ,really sad but you know maybe this is just the way the world is going,it use to be that people cared about each other,and no one would ever throw another under the bus,if there was a problem then we would actually talk to each other instead about each other and that includes me,yup,always liked the fact that I was honest and stepping on someones feelings,but even I have become this way.I guess its the trust factor that isn't there anymore,please don't get me wrong,I have plenty of friends there that I will forever cherish,but it's not the same as when Roxy,Sandy,and Heather and I were there,now all of them have passed in a better place and here I still am,walking endlessly into each day to see what will come of it.
My oldest daughter got married ,she was pregnant before the wedding,not so unusual these days,but something went wrong and at 7 months her twin girls had to be taken from her.what an awful thing to see your daughter go through .babies that were moving having to be taken from your womb because as they were dieing inside her it would of been even worse had she delivered them dead.Even though I never got to hold Sophia and Nathalie,they remain forever in my heart,when I see that little urn at my daughters home it reminds me that I have 8 grandchildren,2 of which I will see in another life.
My great nephew Colin cam home from college sick and we all later found out he had lymphoma,it has been a very long time for this brilliant young man who make words actually dance of the page.( I believe he gets that talent from his mom)He will be one day a great writer,but for now his journey is all about fighting the beast,and yes he is winning.Praise God for that.
My site has a brand new look,well actually it is a brand new site,you see in the mitts of all this my site was taken from me by unfortunately a thief and was put in the hands of the police for stolen goods off this persons tower.So with the help of good people ,we rebuilt her,it has been a long slow process,but I am getting there ,if you would take a minute to go take a look I would be very much appreciated. In case you need the URL
As you can see it has been a very rough year ,but even so I know that God has been with me every step of the way,especially when I felt like I was so alone,I could hear the whispers in the wind saying I am right here my child ,you are never alone.
Here is wishing that all of you know that whatever life hands you ,you are never alone! :)

Monday, July 15, 2013

I guess I am not much of a blogger because I never seem to have time to post that often. As some of my friends and family already knows I lost my site due to my host that used a company that ended up having stolen parts and the authorities seized the towers and he can't get them back because he doesn't own them and so my shandalin is gone but like the phoenix it will rise again just not sure when. It has been a hard year with my buddy getting cancer and then my great nephew, plus work this year was really hard on me, felt like I could do nothing right, use to be the best place in the world to work but not the case anymore, please don't get me wrong there are still great people there but the changes for me at lease are demeaning and nothing is applauded just everything you do wrong pointed out, sad but hey I'm old school and all the people I started with are retired or in heaven so I feel a little lost at times.
As I turn 60 this year, OMG!!!! I find myself reflecting on things that other wise I would not think so much about...........Death you say? No actually, not really, I mean we all have to go sometime or the other,some way to fast, actually I was reflecting on the fact that even though my life has been anything but easy ,I am so blessed. I mean my children are healthy, my grandchildren are healthy and my marriage of almost 42 years is still going strong, We have money in the bank, not tons but a good amount, We have a nice home even though it's in need of some updates. I guess what I am trying to say is each time I want to sit down and cry about poor me ,I see someone like a veteran sitting on the side of the road holding a sign saying out of work Veteran will work cheap, makes me so sad that a man that protected my freedom can be treated like this by a country that politicians fill their damn pockets with pout money for doing nothing. Sorry getting way off subject (just makes me so angry) I know we all have those moments of poor me but I need to sit back some days and look at the big picture and realize that God has given me so much .I hope I will be able to post more but no promises.I hope anyone that reads this finds a blessing in their life today.